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My names Siân and I’ve been battling with my mental health for over a decade. I’m sharing my experiences to hopefully support others.
My story
Warning – this is a long one and may be triggering. I kindly ask that if you know me or my family/friends that you do not disclose any information within this blog to them. For reasons that will become clear if you read on, certain family members are not involved in my recovery. This is… Continue reading My story
Not feeling ready for recovery
I don’t think I will ever feel ready to face recovery. I don’t think anyone does. In my mind I will never be sick enough, I’ll forever find an excuse, I will tell myself that I don’t deserve help. Once again it’s bullshit and I have to keep reminding myself that If I didn’t deserve… Continue reading Not feeling ready for recovery
Borderline.
Recently I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), also called Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD). The terms are used interchangeably but I personally prefer BPD as the word ‘unstable’ makes me feel worse even though it’s accurate. What was your first reaction to this? How would you react if a close friend or relative… Continue reading Borderline.
Why eating disorder diagnosis’s are bullsh*t
Hear me out on this one. Im going to start by saying that even if you’ve not been officially given a diagnosis you can still have an eating disorder and it doesn’t make it any less dangerous or valid. Hundreds of people are turned away for help every single day because they don’t meet the… Continue reading Why eating disorder diagnosis’s are bullsh*t
Work and recovery
My mental health effects my work drastically at times. Having BPD, PTSD and Bulimia makes functioning day to day bloody hard let alone working full time! I work at a large accountancy firm full time in the tax team and am taking my ACA and CTA exams to become a chartered accountant and tax advisor.… Continue reading Work and recovery
Labels
I was recently assessed by a psychiatrist and after a hell of a lot of anxiety, what felt like hours worth of questions and awkward pauses I was given two new diagnosis. I’ll talk more about them specially when I can process it, this blog is all about the process of being diagnosed or “labelled”.… Continue reading Labels
I just don’t want to be here.
Disclaimer and TW – I wrote this in a dark place but I can assure you I am safe currently. A lot of the time I just want to disappear. To just not wake up in the morning. To just not be here. I’m not making plans. I don’t want to kill myself. I just… Continue reading I just don’t want to be here.
The never ending battle
Eating disorders are unique in the fact that the very thing that makes you unwell is the only thing that can cure you and cannot simply be avoided. Food is the medicine. A healthy balanced diet with no purging and a healthy weight for your body is one key element of recovery. Addictions such as… Continue reading The never ending battle
